I have a shameful confession. I completely fell out of my Property Project. I wasn’t trying on workouts, the few I did, and I wasn’t watching what I eat. It started a while back with an “I really don’t feel up to it today” along with a “well eating x won’t hurt me for just tonight” and quickly went downhill from there. I let things like my job and the severe frustration with being single mess with my head. I fell into that downhill spiral of eating my emotions like I have spoken about before here. As a result, and it is completely my fault, I have gained back almost 15 lbs total of what I had lost over my property project as of Dec 6, 2013.
Until now, I hadn’t told Ferns and the workout crew because I didn’t want to disappoint any of them as much as I have disappointed myself. It started out small and before I knew it, I had lost control. It was a vicious circle of failure followed by eating my emotions to failure again. I had honestly thought yesterday about emailing Ferns to take me off the workout crew because I felt I had slipped too far back and what was the point.
Then I received an email on Fetlife last night from someone I didn’t even know who had decided to read my Property Project. The person wanted to thank me for taking the time to blog about my feelings, progress, my setbacks, nutrition, workouts, and more because it inspired them to get out and improve themselves. The person expressed how they are similar to my size and can relate to how I feel and my posts about my property project has helped them. In actuality, as I told her, it was her email that has now helped me.
It’s not too late. I am not too far gone! I had lost track of the point in why I was doing this. I became upset no one noticed, that I was still single, etc. When in fact, I should be doing this for myself! Yes, my property project was started because I want to improve myself for my future Dominant but the main reason it was started is because *I* want to improve me for me. I admit my fallout and now it’s time to do something about it.
*any motivation and encouragement is greatly appreciated*